Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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