there was a trapeze. enough said
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize