$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
