i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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