no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
