I didn't shave. On purpose
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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