he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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