I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
