i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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