You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dicks are not precious.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
