carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
