You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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