dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
