It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
