Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
