as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I still have a little drunk in my system
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
