Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
This girl is more easily done than said...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
