"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Never underestimate the power of titties
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
