I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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