At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
