I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My first STD was from a foam party
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
