At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
