We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
honey bunches of taint.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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