you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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