toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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