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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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