Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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