There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
