Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize