Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
