he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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