i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
