god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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