either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How external is "for external use only"?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
