Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
