Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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