see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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