just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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