im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
