I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
