He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
