Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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