He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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