have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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