so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
