The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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