So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
