Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
