I can tuck mytits in my pants
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize