Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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