Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
