my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize