butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my phone needs a breathalizer
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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