I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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