She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
