she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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