why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
