this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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