Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
