he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
