Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
