I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
