Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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