nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
