Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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