Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
