You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the day after is always just damage control
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
